An All-Sufficient Savior for An Insufficient Man

Dear Church Family,

I officially returned to my office duties on Monday, December 5. I am open for business (so to speak)! I am a much better, well-rounded person upon my return.

First, I want to express how grateful I am that you had the foresight in your personnel policy to provide a sabbatical period for your senior pastor every seventh year of service. That is amazingly gracious. And I also want to thank you for allowing me to use that sabbatical time these last ten weeks. I thought it only appropriate that I should give you a report of what transpired during this period, followed by what I learned about myself while I was away.

Over these last ten weeks, I was able to focus on many personal chores I have been unable to do due to my work schedule. I was able to get my landscaping back in order after the destruction and construction from when the tree fell through our home back in January. I was also able to move Ella into her new apartment in Birmingham as well as clean and organize our garage and shed. I know these seem like minute chores, but very necessary for my family’s life. Twice, I was able to help my mother in South Caroline. The first at the beginning of October to complete the finishing touches of her move to a new home. And the second (and most recent) was unexpected after she took a tumble and sustained some minor injuries. I was glad I was available to assist her. I think it gave both of us peace of mind.

I did a little traveling during the ten weeks. The first weekend of the Sabbatical I went to my niece’s wedding in South Carolina. In October, Lisa and I did a much-needed marriage retreat in Louisville, Kentucky. We were reminded once again how important it is to continue to work towards oneness. The weekend retreat gave us time to reflect upon how we can improve this.  Upon the first two weeks of November, I traveled to England. I spent the first week in London and Cambridge doing some research for a project for the Evangelical Review of Theology. Then I traveled to Bath in order to visit friends from the days when I lived there. I was privileged to preach at Bradford-on-Avon Baptist Chapel. This is the church I attended when I lived in England (I noted at the time that I had preached on three different continents within a nine-week period - Southeast Asia, North America, and Europe - a rarity to be sure!). I returned in time for Thanksgiving in Tennessee with my In-laws, celebrated my birthday with my immediate family the following weekend, and watched the United States Men’s National Team compete in the World Cup (an event I thoroughly enjoy every four years).

Lisa, Evie, and I were able to visit some of our sister churches in the area where I was able to hear some of my friends preach. When I was in town, we visited Jackson Way Baptist Church, Rivertree Church, The Huntsville Chinese Christian Church, and the 6^th Avenue Community Church in Decatur. It was wonderful to be fed by these brothers and I am grateful for the warm welcome we were given from each congregation. But it also made us grateful for our own church home at Providence. Until you visit some of these other places, you don’t realize just how special ‘home’ can be.

Lastly, the time away from my ministerial duties allowed me time to focus upon myself. In my zeal to serve you, I realized I had been neglecting parts of my personal life. They can be summarized in three areas. First, I realized I am not investing enough time with my family. Before the Sabbatical, I had been working 50-60 hours a week. Many of those hours were in the evening time when church members could meet - also times when my family needed me at home. Many weeks I did not take a day off, nor did I make them up later. I had not been doing a very good job of setting boundaries with my time. I allowed the great needs of the church to take precedence over those of my family. But gratefully, the church has worked to rectify this by hiring an additional staff member while I was away! I am delighted that Daniel will be among us permanently. Also connected to this same constant activity is the second area. I have neglected my personal health. Being on the go, I procrastinated with my regular exercise and failed to eat well. The sabbatical gave me time to begin the process of changing my lifestyle to where I hope you will have a much healthier pastor.

And third, probably most important, is my lack of personal soul care. The years since the pandemic have been grueling in the life of the church. Many have had diverse opinions about politics and social issues and felt the need to express them to me. There have been a few who have had unrealistic expectations of their pastor and I allowed myself to buy into those standards.  I thought I was sufficient to carry such burdens for others and I have been under more stress than I realized. To that end, I have been seeing a wonderful Biblical counselor who has been helping me see where the ‘planks’ have been sticking out of my own eyes. It’s easy when you are trying to care of everyone else, that you fail adequately to maintain your own soul. I have failed in this area. My zeal created significant burnout as I falsely believed that I am super-human and could maintain the pace that I have been working. My counselor has me working on exercises to notice the various reactions of my body to my daily routines as well as to my mental state. It has been eye-opening. I am praying that I can prevent putting myself under further strain.

So, in way of summary- Your pastor is a weak man (Hopefully, that should be nothing new to you). But I serve a strong savior who works through my weaknesses. The hardest truth to realize is that the weakness that Christ wants to work in and through is NOT necessarily my physical limitations, as though if I can just push through these moments everything will work itself out. But the Lord wants to show me that overall, I am insufficient for such tasks and that his grace and his sovereignty are enough. I need to rest in him, accept help from others, and allow my faith to be placed in his Holy Spirit, not in my efforts to meet all the needs. These are issues that are still in progress. The sabbatical did not ‘cure me’, but allowed me the time to reflect and gain a foothold in order to make improvement.

I want to thank Brian, Daniel, and the elders for covering so many of my duties while I was away. I am so grateful for so many who are capable to ‘carry one another’s burdens’. No doubt, Amber Stewart worked tirelessly to meet all the administration tasks. I am appreciative of Ken Pruitt stepping up to lead the Missions Team and Alex Carr covering the Theology Conference. I am sure there were many others who stood in the gap as well. Thank you so much. I am truly grateful to serve as your pastor.

Pastor Blair