Four Encouragements for Struggling with Grief
Posted April 12 | Pastor Jess Smith
This extraordinary text (Colossians 1:24-29) gets to the very heart of the apostle’s understanding of the process of sanctification and incorporates the massive purpose of God to glorify Himself through the preaching of the gospel. To rejoice in sufferings is counter-intuitive, counter-cultural and certainly contrary to most postmodern sentiments and vocabulary. This phrase expresses years of the apostle’s life as he walked with the Lord and labored tirelessly to take the gospel to the ends of the earth. Verse 24 of Colossians 1 embraces Paul’s theological, ethical, moral and biblical grasp of the very purpose of God in the earth. This is not some catchy cliché thrown about to impress, but rather a clear confession of the depth of the cross’ work in Paul’s life.
How is it possible to rejoice in suffering when those sufferings are tearing at one’s very soul, mind and body? Is it possible to fail to honor the Lord and glorify Him in the midst of suffering? Certainly this is no time to express anger towards God. Yet that appears to be in vogue in some Christian circles as a means of therapy. How utterly absurd is this sentiment, when everything we have, from the breath we take to the food we eat, comes down from above and is a gift from Almighty God! To know that the Lord God is absolutely sovereign over all things gives us great confidence that there are no accidents, no mistakes, and no quirks of fate or random situations with God. All His works are wondrous and good!
Our problem if we face blessing or calamity unrighteously is that we are sinful and rebellious and therefore subject to wrong thinking, foolish speculations and presumptuous reasoning. Both blessing and calamity ought to call us to repentance and brokenness before our holy God. God does not change. His compassion and mercy are renewed every day and His grace is sufficient in and for every trial and temptation. His providence, though bitter at times, is always made sweet by the application of His love poured out generously upon us even in the midst of our sufferings.
May we be reminded of these truths as we walk through the dark days of sorrow that dawn upon the landscape of our hearts during the course of our days. Allow me to suggest four encouragements for dealing with sorrow and grief in a manner that honors the Lord and sets our hearts to stay on Him.
First, the Lord has providentially brought into our lives and ordered seasons of grief so that we might cease in trusting ourselves and rely upon Him who raises the dead. Listen to Paul’s words to the church at Corinth, “for we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.” (II Corinthians 1:8b-9). Though our hearts may be broken, our tongues must be instruments of praise to God for all his benefits so that we do not betray our faith in His goodness and our confidence in His word. Death will not have the final say, God will! If He raised Christ, will He not raise those who are in Christ? Death has no power or victory over the saints. To live is Christ and to die is gain!
Secondly, in God’s providential administration of all things, He has mercifully set boundaries and limits on the duration and intensity of the saints’ suffering. Paul speaks of this light weight and momentary affliction when compared to the weight of glory that we will inherit (II Corinthians 4:17). He has designed trouble and trials with limits. The Psalmist has rightly stated, “Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5). The length of the night and the fullness of joy are both controlled by the good hand of God our Father. All our times are in His hand. The hairs of our head are numbered. Our tears are stored up in a bottle and all our days of journey on this earth are determined by Him (Psalm 31:15; Matthew 10:30; Psalm 56:8; Psalm 90:12-17). Oh let us say as they did in Decapolis, “He has done all things well” (Mark 7:37).
Third, we must be careful not to murmur or complain against the One who did not spare His own Son and who has given us all things freely to enjoy. One of the major issues in the experience of grief is not to attempt to assuage its pain by blaming God or accusing Him of acting unfairly toward us but instead to praise Him for His merciful unfairness which is the foundation of our salvation! The work of grief in our lives is a scalpel wielded by the great physician to cut away in us those elements of self-centeredness and self-pity that would rob us of the delight and beauty of knowing His tender hand of compassion and His remarkable touch of healing. If God wounds it is to heal. If God takes away it is to restore 30, 60, 100 fold. Thank God that we are learning that all of life is worship. The strength and power of worship is predicated on the holiness of God not our circumstances and troubles. Job rightfully asked, “shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil [calamity]?” (Job 2:10). When that which is most dear and precious to us is taken our sorrow and grief will be deep and painful. But may we say with David, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14).
Fourth, for Paul rejoicing in suffering did not remove him from the emotional pain and heartache that those sufferings brought. His rejoicing was founded upon Christ and His finished work on the cross. Paul was acutely aware of the Lord’s tender mercies and compassion toward him. Our great God is not detached from our pain and sorrow. He does not stand aloof. In fact, He has borne our pain and sorrows and made them His very own. To walk through the valley of the shadow of death is to walk escorted and upheld by the mighty hand of King Jesus. Oh may our hearts be fixed on eternal things. May our minds be set on things above where Christ is seated at the right hand of God (Colossians 3:1-3).
My precious brothers and sisters weep, grieve, sorrow and mourn but do so with your eyes fixed on Jesus, your hearts in pursuit of Him and your affections set on Him. Let our worship be extravagant and excessive in days of trouble and our lamentations centered squarely on the Word of God (Lamentations 3:19-33). Let our hope be settled in the Gospel and our feet planted securely on the solid rock. Let our faith look up and our rest be in the glorious resurrection.
Pain and sorrow remind us that we are alive, and not merely alive but our lives are hid with Christ in God. Our lives are but a vapor. Eternity awaits us with all its glory, beauty and majesty. So let us like Paul rejoice in our sufferings and declare boldly that we are highly loved and valued, favored by the One who was acquainted with sorrow and grief and bore the Father’s wrath on our behalf that we might be borne upon wings of eagles and loved with an everlasting love. Though your days are dark and difficult they soon will give way to the brilliant glory of the Son of Righteousness either lifting the darkness or calling you into His glorious presence where there is no more pain, grief, sorrow, tears or death!
Learning to rejoice in sufferings,
Brother Jess